E-M-P-A-T-H-Y

 See that word in the title. I want you to sing it, Aretha Franklin style. That word right there has been something that has been severely lacking, at least in my corner of the world for almost two years now and it is really starting to grate on my nerves. Mostly because of the hypocrisy of most people which is a pet peeve of mine.  Last month I talked about shaming and this is a facet of that. Mostly I talked about shaming of people who did not get the vaccine but this can apply to many things, for example mask wearing or lack thereof is quickly making it’s way back to the shaming forefront. 

As part of my training for heading back to school last week, I watched a video on showing empathy. The video showed a bunch of people, mostly in a school setting with captions such as, “Worked 2 jobs before school today to help my family” or “Couldn’t wait to get to school to have breakfast because there is no food at home.”  The video was all about how you don’t know what is going on in someone’s life so show empathy as your first reaction.  Easier said than done, especially now when public shaming seems to be the first reaction. 

I had a conversation with someone this past week about the vaccine and why there may be a legitimate reason why someone doesn’t get the vaccine. Before I even finished speaking the reaction of the other person was, “prove it!”  This person is a loving, caring individual who I have witnessed many times going above and beyond to help a person in need. That reaction caught me completely off guard.  

I saw a post on social media this weekend stressing the importance of wearing masks to save lives. The post went on to say that even if we find that it doesn’t save lives at the most wearing the mask is just uncomfortable so wear the mask and stop complaining. I can’t disagree more with this sentiment. For some people out there wearing a mask poses more of a risk to them than making them uncomfortable. I myself, am asthmatic. I wore the mask when I was required to do so, including all day at work last school year. By the time the spring rolled around my asthma was so bad I was hardly sleeping at night. I went from having a few attacks a month to 10-20 per day!  My medical doctor concluded that as long as I was wearing a mask my asthma was going to continue to get worse. She petitioned my job to allow me to wear a face shield instead of a mask and within weeks I saw a noticeable difference in my breathing. I will continue to wear a face shield at work this school year instead of the required mask. In 3 days back at school I have had 3 people make commentary about my lack of mask. I just say I have a medical excuse approved by HR and they grumble but go away. I and anyone in a situation like me don’t owe anyone an explanation. We need to show each other empathy. Things aren’t always cut and dry for everyone and shaming should not be the first tool in our toolbox. 

The pandemic has gone on for a long time. I understand that people are scared.  People are getting really sick and people are dying. That is scary. But I would argue that the pandemic has done more damage socially and emotionally than it has physically. Of course my heart goes out to anyone that has watched a loved one suffer or lost a loved one but how many others have we lost from our lives because of our behavior?  The pandemic has pitted us against each other. At a time when we need each other the most, the pandemic has been tearing us apart. We can only get through this together and to do that the first thing we need is…(sing it with me) E-M-P-A-T-H-Y.  Thank you Aretha. :)

I’m Back!

 About 5 years ago I was working out one day, working on my legs and I noticed that my right knee started to hurt. I backed off, iced, rested, it continued to hurt. After a few weeks I sought medical advice.  MRIs, X-Rays, specialists, physical therapy for years followed. Nobody could tell me what was wrong with my knee aside from the fact that my patella moved diagonally instead of up and down and that motion had eroded the cartilage and bone in some areas. As a result my patella had a tendency to get out of joint and would hurt until it snapped itself back into joint and the cycle would repeat itself.  I was told bike riding, the stair master and everything else that required repetitive knee motions were off limits and I’d probably never do them again. I was specifically told no kickboxing. I was also asked when I first noticed the pain and it was when I was squatting with 35 lb dumbbells. I was told to not do that ever again.  Up to that point kickboxing was a staple in my fitness arsenal and how could I skip leg day?

I stopped kickboxing but I didn’t skip leg day.  Instead I started out doing leg day with no weights.  Just body weight.  It hurt at first. But over time it stopped hurting and when it consistently stopped hurting I added weight. It was a slow process and I had setbacks. There were times I’d be off of leg day for weeks at a time or down in weight or back to no weight.  Slowly but surely I was able to add weight.  I also added kickboxing back into the mix. Not every day, just once or twice a week but it’s something. Some days it isn’t pretty. I can’t do the basic leg turning motion because of the way my patella moves but I adjust the moves for me. Any movement is better than no movement. 

 My knee still hurts some days but that’s just part of the process and along the way I got stronger.  I built strength in areas of my body that weren’t my legs.  I also gained weight which sent me on cycles of eating less. But, that never worked because you can’t do more with less.  I learned the hard way. Last week I was listening to a podcast and it stated that when you grow muscle you will gain weight because muscle weighs more than fat. The light went on. I’ve been building muscle so of course the number on the scale will go up.  I’m done with dieting. I’m going to fuel my body with nutritious foods that it needs but also eat foods that make my body feel good. Screw the scale!

Last week I finished up an 8 week program and I finished strong. On leg day guess who was squatting with 35 lb dumbbells?  That’s right, this girl!  It was a long road but I made it back. What’s next?  I’ve already started a 9 week program that will help me continue to build strength. Will my knee hurt again at some point?  Guaranteed. But the key is to keep moving forward, no matter what that looks like.