I’m someone who has struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I have vivid memories of being a 10 year old in ballet class and noticing that I was bigger than almost everyone else. I wasn’t overweight at that point, I weighed in at 56 lbs...thank you Ground Round for kids pay what they weigh which is how I know this. I was petite and skinny but I had started to develop a large butt and thighs and it didn’t go unnoticed as I danced in front of a wall of mirrors. I started to see myself as big.
Flash forward to college, I was no longer dancing and was spending a large portion of my life dedicated to my studies. This often meant running to the dining hall and grabbing something I could eat quickly so I could get back to my work. This wasn’t always the healthiest choice and my weight reflected that. I wasn’t overweight but I was heading that direction.
After college, I started working as a meteorologist. To say the hours were crazy would be an understatement. I was working over 60 hours a week, with stretches of almost a full month before I had a day off. This was not a healthy lifestyle. I had no time for anything other than the occasional walk and I basically threw food down without having time to think about it. I was now overweight. Throw a pregnancy in there and I was tipping the scales a good 20 lbs over a healthy weight. No big deal right, there are plenty of people much more overweight than that and that is true. However, at that point I was struggling to have another child and the reason given was because I was overweight. I slipped into a deep despair. I was overweight and that was denying my husband the joy of another child. It totally consumed me. I found no joy in anything. I became obsessed with losing weight so I could have another baby.
I decided to try Weight Watchers and it worked pretty quickly. I lost 30 lbs and I was back to a healthy weight. I quit my meteorology job and got a part time job with normal hours. I started working out hard every day. I knew that would solve all my problems. But it didn’t. I still couldn’t get pregnant. I tried medication and hormones. Nothing worked. In the meantime, I developed some issues which led to me having to have a uterine ablation. I could no longer have another child. I was distraught. I turned to food for comfort. I was still working out hard but I was eating even harder to compensate. I thought working out gave me an excuse to eat even more. The weight came back. So that meant I worked out even harder but instead of eating more this time I ate way less. I lost weight but I didn’t feel good. I became obsessed with how my body looked. I had flab everywhere but everything was starting to shape up from my hard exercising except for my c-section pooch. It made me crazy. I became obsessed with it. I ate less and worked out more. Nothing helped.
With the support of my husband I decided to get a tummy tuck. I figured I was getting it taken care of so that gave me an excuse to eat again. I gained some weight back. I didn’t like the way I was feeling or the weight rollercoaster I was on. So I got a Beachbody coach, love you Vanessa, and started working out with 21 Day Fix Extreme. I also followed the Portion Fix meal plan. This was the first time ever that I had aligned my eating and exercising and it made a world of difference. I didn’t lose 30 lbs but I was back to a healthy weight. The tummy tuck made a huge difference for me too. As it turns out it wasn’t fat, it was all excess skin. I dropped from a size 12 to a size 4! Even after losing 30 lbs on Weight Watchers I was still a size 10 at my lowest.
Five years later I’m still working out with Beachbody, right now I’m on my second round in a row of 80 Day Obsession. But although I’m still eating the same my weight is starting to creep up again. The same old things just aren’t working. So I’m also working with a nutritionist. I’m trying to focus less on my weight (I am currently 5 lbs overweight) and more on being the healthiest version of me. I’m focusing on how I’m feeling and trying to do things that make me feel good.
How will it turn out? I have no idea. That’s why life is a journey not a destination. Stay tuned...
No comments:
Post a Comment